Giving Up
by OurDanniGirl
Summary: Based on the Time Child series by DanniFielding. A look into the moment where River had to say goodbye. Lots of angst. Written by serenitysaiyan.


_A slightly AU drabble wrote by SerenitySaiyan, please leave her lots of lovely reviews about how she broke your heart :D_

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River Song gently rocked the bundle held securely in her arms, singing softly an old song she had learnt in her studies. She had graduated the Luna University and then 9 months later, had become a mother. Not exactly as planned, but, she wouldn't miss it for the world.

Particularly as she now held the youngest version of Danni she had ever seen. And she was hers and no one could interrupt that.

Well, no one except for Danni's father, her son-in-law, and fate.

Gently River ran the back of her finger over Danni's cheek. The baby cooed softly, but, stayed asleep, her long lashes resting on her pink cheeks, hiding her big, grey eyes. Ginger hair poked out in tufts from under the blue hat River had placed upon her head to keep her warm, which matched the blue blanket she was swaddled in, and she couldn't help but smile once again at the miracle she and Jack had created.

Their Danni-Girl.

Their daughter.

But, her happiness was being threatened. After 3 weeks and 2 days of bliss, the Doctor had sent a warning that their time was up. Jack had fallen to his knees and River had cried to herself, as she held her baby close to her chest. She knew what had to happen, what always had to happen, but, it didn't mean she liked it or had to accept it. He was coming for her soon, to take her to the other Universe where she would grow up without them, and River could only wish she had the power to stop time itself, just so she could hold onto these last moments with her infant daughter.

Jack was the calmer of the two. He understood that their Danni had to be taken, so that events played out like they did. But River…River didn't want them to. She wanted her daughter, her Danni-girl, with her forever. She could be there for her first word, her first step. She could teach her how to read, how to write, how to travel through time without that man that was threatening everything. If she held onto her, she could raise her to not fall in love with the Doctor and save her from unhappiness.

She could also break the curse that seemed to hang over her family; Pond mothers never got to raise their daughters. Amelia had barely been raised by her mother, she remembered more of her time with the crack on her wall than the time without it. Then she had been taken from her mother's arms and raised away from her, not knowing who she was for such a long time. Now Danni…

A hand rested on her shoulder and she turned to see Jack standing there, a solemn look on his face. He looked calm, but, his eyes held the storm of emotion he was trying to hide. Her grip tightened a little on her little girl.

"Just a bit more time, please." She said, hating how weak and desperate her voice sounded.

"You know we have to do this River." He said, and she felt the tears build.

"But we could not! Jack, we could keep her. Raise her here, between us. She would be loved by us and would never have to know the pain we have seen her go through."

"But that's just the thing. We know she goes through it. We can't change it, River. Changing this would mean changing how we met and that would mean that she's never even born. I'd much rather send her away now, knowing I will see her again, than risk keeping her here and erasing her."

He was right, she knew he was. Years of studying Archaeology taught her what a little difference could do, and Time Travel taught her the rest. Jack held out his arms, wanting to say good bye to her, and, reluctantly, River handed over her precious baby girl to the man who she knew doted on her as often as he could.

"Hey Danni-girl" he whispered to her, and River couldn't help but watch the exchange and see how the most enigmatic man she knew, bar the Doctor, changed when he held his daughter. He mimicked Rivers earlier action of running a finger over her cheek, and the girl reached out sleepily and grabbed his finger. River could see Jack's heart break at that moment in his eyes, and she held onto everything she had to not follow suit. "It's going to be some time before someone calls you that again, but, you'll always be my Danni-girl. Mine and Rivers."

His eyes flickered over to her and she took a deep breath and he looked back down at her and continued, rocking her softly. "We have to send you away, baby girl. Not because we don't want you, you should never think that. I know you will, but, it's not true. We do this because this is how it has to be. You need to grow up far away from here so you can come back and save us and save the man who loves you only second to me."

"When you come back to me, to us, you're going to know so much about me, but, I'm not going to know a lot about you. Be patient with me, again, Danni-girl. Love me in your unconditional way, your mother too, and try to remember that we do this knowing everything that you will go through and things you have yet to come. You will see things beyond your wildest dreams and, while I don't approve of him all of the time, you will be loved by an extraordinary man who will take you places further than your imagination and show you things that fairy tales are made of."

Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, he gently untangled his finger and took her in one more time. "I love you, Danielle. Don't forget it."

He turned and handed her back to River, his eyes shimmering. River accepted their daughter back, rocking her slightly again to keep her asleep, as the Immortal Man turned to compose himself. Behind her the wind began to pick up and a sound that she usually waited for with baited breath filled her ears and only caused her heart to sink. The one time, she knew, that the TARDIS would not fill her with excitement and anticipation.

She pretended not to notice, as the blue box appeared into existence, and ignored the grey-haired man who stepped out, hands in pockets, and ridiculously calm. As Jack moved to greet him, River huddled Danni closer to her and tried to take her in. She memorized the way she felt in her arms. Her light breathing and her single heartbeat. The softness of her ginger hair and how she already suited the blue she was swaddled in. "Oh Danni." She breathed out, and placed a kiss on her forehead, much as Jack had done moments before.

"Your father's right. Everything that he told you is right. I want to be selfish and keep you, be damned the consequences, but, we could lose you, and I wouldn't be able to live with that. I hope you remember that we didn't want to let you go. I hope you remember, when you're with the people who are going to help raise you into the wonderful woman you become, that there are people here who love you and wish they could be there instead. I hope you remember that I held onto you until the very last minute."

From the corner of her eye, River watched as the Doctor and Jack made their way towards her. It was time and she wasn't ready. A tear escaped and, for the first time in a long time, River let the two men see a part of her she hid from the world. "I hope you remember how much I love you Danni-girl. Please don't forget me."

The Doctor held out his arms and River, reluctantly, placed her daughter in them. He arranged her so that she was nestled against him and looked down at her in wonder for a second before, looking at her.

"You're doing the right thing, River." He said, and it almost seemed to make it worse.

"It doesn't feel like it." She said, putting on a brave face. Jack's hand appeared on her arm, in comfort, and warning, and she swallowed the anger and resentment that was bubbling. "Make sure she's safe, Doctor. Otherwise, I'll know."

"You know I would never have her come to harm."

"Hitler and Silence." River replied and he paled a little, before straightening and turning his attention to Jack.

"Do you need a ride?"

"No, I've got a way. Best I don't come with. May try to take her back." He tried to jest, but, his eyes just weren't in it.

"Very well. Then I'll take her to where she needs to be." He replied. With a nod at both of them, he turned and made his way back to the TARDIS.

River felt her legs tremble, the urge to run after him and take back her little girl was almost overwhelming, but, Jack stood still and tightened his hold on her. Each step the Time Lord took away from them felt like another blow to her heart, and only the thought of knowing she would see her little girl again, and the hand clenched around her arm, holding both of them in place, was all that forced its way into her head to get her to remain where she was.

They stayed like that until the engines faded away and there was nothing left to chase. For what seemed like longer than time itself.

Eventually Jack let go and gave her a quick hug, and a kiss on her hair, before starting up his Vortex manipulator and disappearing in a flash. River still felt grounded and couldn't bring herself to move. Her whole being seemed to ache with the loss that hadn't quite hit her.

Familiar music drifted to her through the haze and River slowly realised that it was her phone ringing.

 _Carry on my wayward son  
There'll be peace when you are done.._

Her eyes widened and she fumbled for it, answering quickly and putting it to her ear.

"Danni?"

" _Mels! Hello! What are you up to?_ " Danni's voice flowed through the receiver and River felt her heart thud painfully.

"Nothing much, sweetie." She forced out, "Just dealing with some history."

There was a pause. " _Are you alright?_ "

"Just fine." She said, trying to cheer up her voice. "Don't worry about me, Danni-girl. It was nothing I couldn't handle."

" _Well, if you're sure…Anyway, if you're not too busy, we'll swing by and get you. The Doctor's been telling me about this planet where the trees are blue, the sky is purple, and you can practically fly due to the low gravity!_ " Her excited voice came through and River felt a smile force its way onto her lips.

"Sounds great Danni-girl. Pass me to your old man and I'll give him my location."

As she absently read her location to the Bow-Tied Time Lord, she mentally prepared herself for her day with Danni. She had let her go, yes, but, while this was present it was also past. She had Danni back now, and that meant that it was worth it. And this time, there was nothing River would allow to separate them.


End file.
